Ok, in this post it goes from a to b, which is of course a lie, around z x and y which are just more lies
It is all nothingness, thanks for reading, now stop here
Thank you dear friends for all your warm and helpful energies, talking about a delight, there is this connection in everything and every moment is (amazing).
There could really just exist eat, sleep, dream, sweat, talk about "it" every moment. Actually, presence seems to "absorb" lies more and more, and "I" watches. Relaxing that nothing is under control.
The mind can not understand where all this "unknown" energy suddenly comes from and is getting more and more "scared" as daily life kicked back into my "situation" as "predicted". The pace in which the "material" world evolves in, is just "deadly". With the mind I can see nothing but "trouble", but there is no longer any choice, no way back, not ever again, no more fear (why does mind shout this dunno). Things are as they are and this mind thing is so "strong" in it's fakeness, there is no glitch in it, it is "all or nothing". That is why I feel like getting "all in" the faster the better. Which is of course a "dangerous" false identification to "become" enlightened, and it would be some escapism, even one that does not know any concept of ego and mind would be able to point that out.
The more relief, the bigger the mess will be, when the bubble burts, so it is impossible to return to any previous state of darkness. In light no bubble of false hope can burst because it would not exist anyway.
Let all this trouble "come", it might mean "trouble" but trouble will NOT be a problem. Presence would allow for "losing everything" because there is nothing to lose.
This being informed by presence, it sounds like music to the ears, it is beautiful, I have no doubt it's 'truth' 100%, still what in heaven's name is it waiting for? I need more information NOW and effortless lol
Please ignore my silly jokes, in this writing is ego mirroring and struggling, far from death ... "sorry"
Yesterday a "real life" friend, tried to talk me all out of this, he reminded the ego of some very "realistic" dangers, and ego seems to "think" now it is "stronger" and has arguments ... bweeeeeurk, but yep, what could I do about it, it shows that what it shows, nothing actually
Still, what would I "lose" if I would take any bag with some clothes, and just leave ... off to a place where there is space to dedicate the rest of "this" life to Stillness ...
Indeed, this "gift" of being so full of my self ... tempered would suit more
All your words is "welcomed" energy, clear pointers. So much "experience" you share with me, I could not be more grateful for ...
Aweress came up with this addiction, from day 2
I clearly remember. There is this cigarette / nicotine addiction which I "saw through". Must admit, mind still "wins" here, let it be, no fighting, on the other hand, I spontaniously "practice" indeed more presence on this theme, and these "results" are what thay are. Clear and fuzzy at the same "time". But there is only what is, and there is no "doubt" presence will "grow".
Maybe take this bag and move to this temple of love (where?). It seems "easier" to get "there" if this whole "life" would be left behind ... ALL of it
Ok, stop thinking about it, djeezes lol, that goes on "forever", just want to get rid of all of this "mind" and just get "pure" and "still" NOW lol
am I asking to much lol
should I just do !
"Perfection does not exist" . Duh ... it really just is the other way around, the ego really really loves this here, it is true, it wants so much attention, wants to be funny and clever and oh fuck he's this and that and this and that and all these are fake, but, I mean, this life will never be enough for me I guess lol thank you for understanding guys. I mean, it means, really to thank you. Can not help it, temper it help me please get "better"
Also, the answers that were written here to this egoic question, are so right on the spot.
Also, all these other things I should come back to all your guys dear input regurarly! Not every thing is "ready" here, clearly
thank you so much !! Some things I already can "understand" now, and faster very much clearer thanks to you.
Now let presence come to the heart, damn, all these "wishes" still
enjoy this perfect moment, namasté, thank you and much much love