Hi from Belgium

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Sighclone
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by Sighclone » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:56 pm

Welcome Spa!!
Nothing is the same as before, still nothing has changed.
It is a delight in this new year to read my dear friend kiki's encouraging comments to a "newbie" and to read your personal observations. I had an almost identical experience in my personal apiritual path to kiki's. He helped me through my first kensho, and I was very busy on this forum, for two years, mainly responding to other's discoveries - and this was just the very busy integration of my egoic identity (fragile and ephemeral as it is) with my new "Self."

It is ok to stop discounting and attacking what you perceive to be your "ego." Self-love is self-love also. Please understand that every element of your egoic identity was a natural development of your genetic, family, academic and experiential conditioning. There is no blame to any of it. None. None at all. Pure innocence. And whatever of it remains is also ok (and trust me, your personality will remain forever, perhaps slightly tempered, but not radically changed).

It is very ok to think about the future. You will need to eat in the future. And you will need to pay taxes. Your "thinking" will slowly be informed by your experience in Presence. There is no way to "push it," but you can revisit the well in stillness. It is the quiet experience of simple Being that slowly transforms your life (and your thinking.)

Some of your old destructive habits may be worth bringing into Presence. Say you had a gambling habit, and you feel an urge to go to the casino. Stop for a moment and just be with that urge totally. Allowing the "old stuff" to sit in the crucible of Presence has a way of de-energizing it and its influence. And Byron Katie's "the work" is a useful cognitive tool for examining some fixations. (http://thework.com/en)

Be well and very accepting of whoever you perceive that "you are" -- because now you know that who you really are is huge, powerful, and loving.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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turiya
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by turiya » Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:52 am

SpaBlauw33 wrote:There is one egoic question that arises. How to make this "clear" to many people of the world ...
Howcome I see sooooooo many people going from satsang to satsang as matter of speech, but bring their story ... why do they make it so difficult, while it is plain simple ... how could we help them "see".
Yes, the Mind will always come up and want to know "How to..."

Yet there is no fixed "How to"... No formula, no set rules, no certain procedures to follow here... (but the Mind desperately wants there to be... Hence: Religion.)

The best way (so to speak) to help others "see" is just to see your true Self... be your true Self (the One you are already... always have been... always will be). :wink:

Then, others will be able to recognize themselves in you (be able to see that "your" Self and "their" Self is the exact same Self)... and this is the true "teaching" that flows spontaneously and effortlessly from "just seeing"/"just being" Self.... (Even if you're not saying or doing anything, this teaching transmits itself to others! It's amazing!)
SpaBlauw33 wrote:There seems to be lack of message to stop seeking NOW, in this whole spiritual story, consciousness does not seem to be here for thàt ... these are mere ego-factories lol
The ego-factories are necessary until they are no longer necessary. :lol:

It's all part of the hide-and-seek game that Consciousness is playing with Itself. :D
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by Sighclone » Fri Jan 05, 2018 8:36 pm

Then, others will be able to recognize themselves in you (be able to see that "your" Self and "their" Self is the exact same Self
Well put and not so phrased often enough. The dissolution of the "separate inside self" sounds scary and "depersonalizing" until it happens and isn't.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 5:53 pm

Ok, in this post it goes from a to b, which is of course a lie, around z x and y which are just more lies :)
It is all nothingness, thanks for reading, now stop here :wink:

Thank you dear friends for all your warm and helpful energies, talking about a delight, there is this connection in everything and every moment is (amazing).

There could really just exist eat, sleep, dream, sweat, talk about "it" every moment. Actually, presence seems to "absorb" lies more and more, and "I" watches. Relaxing that nothing is under control.

The mind can not understand where all this "unknown" energy suddenly comes from and is getting more and more "scared" as daily life kicked back into my "situation" as "predicted". The pace in which the "material" world evolves in, is just "deadly". With the mind I can see nothing but "trouble", but there is no longer any choice, no way back, not ever again, no more fear (why does mind shout this dunno). Things are as they are and this mind thing is so "strong" in it's fakeness, there is no glitch in it, it is "all or nothing". That is why I feel like getting "all in" the faster the better. Which is of course a "dangerous" false identification to "become" enlightened, and it would be some escapism, even one that does not know any concept of ego and mind would be able to point that out.

The more relief, the bigger the mess will be, when the bubble burts, so it is impossible to return to any previous state of darkness. In light no bubble of false hope can burst because it would not exist anyway.
Let all this trouble "come", it might mean "trouble" but trouble will NOT be a problem. Presence would allow for "losing everything" because there is nothing to lose.

This being informed by presence, it sounds like music to the ears, it is beautiful, I have no doubt it's 'truth' 100%, still what in heaven's name is it waiting for? I need more information NOW and effortless lol
Please ignore my silly jokes, in this writing is ego mirroring and struggling, far from death ... "sorry"

Yesterday a "real life" friend, tried to talk me all out of this, he reminded the ego of some very "realistic" dangers, and ego seems to "think" now it is "stronger" and has arguments ... bweeeeeurk, but yep, what could I do about it, it shows that what it shows, nothing actually

Still, what would I "lose" if I would take any bag with some clothes, and just leave ... off to a place where there is space to dedicate the rest of "this" life to Stillness ...

Indeed, this "gift" of being so full of my self ... tempered would suit more

All your words is "welcomed" energy, clear pointers. So much "experience" you share with me, I could not be more grateful for ...

Aweress came up with this addiction, from day 2 :) I clearly remember. There is this cigarette / nicotine addiction which I "saw through". Must admit, mind still "wins" here, let it be, no fighting, on the other hand, I spontaniously "practice" indeed more presence on this theme, and these "results" are what thay are. Clear and fuzzy at the same "time". But there is only what is, and there is no "doubt" presence will "grow".

Maybe take this bag and move to this temple of love (where?). It seems "easier" to get "there" if this whole "life" would be left behind ... ALL of it
Ok, stop thinking about it, djeezes lol, that goes on "forever", just want to get rid of all of this "mind" and just get "pure" and "still" NOW lol

am I asking to much lol
should I just do ! :wink:

"Perfection does not exist" . Duh ... it really just is the other way around, the ego really really loves this here, it is true, it wants so much attention, wants to be funny and clever and oh fuck he's this and that and this and that and all these are fake, but, I mean, this life will never be enough for me I guess lol thank you for understanding guys. I mean, it means, really to thank you. Can not help it, temper it help me please get "better" :wink: :oops:

Also, the answers that were written here to this egoic question, are so right on the spot.
Also, all these other things I should come back to all your guys dear input regurarly! Not every thing is "ready" here, clearly :) thank you so much !! Some things I already can "understand" now, and faster very much clearer thanks to you.

Now let presence come to the heart, damn, all these "wishes" still :|

:D enjoy this perfect moment, namasté, thank you and much much love

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:53 pm

And suddenly the possibility of "Yes yes yes" which has always been there, becomes available in light, and the heart
knows it is true.
I have "seen" the answer that will reveal its true "potential" (or not) as life will continue to "happen".
I need this ego-writing about it or not, it is a personal reminder. There is no path that I have found. I don't know where I'm going, but there is a destination "now" in being "on the road'.

This is absolutely a-ma-zing. Mind can not believe this is true, this must be a dream. It is explaining its self now, this previous sentence lol, it is accepting it's death, willing to die. Can the reader read this?? There is something bigger. You don't exist anymore.

Life, thank you for making this dream so "powerful" whenever Your light is let in .. and no longer this silly cramp of a nightmare. And sorry I came back to You this late, but since I do not exist anymore, soup is still hot, right :D

OMG I feel not "cured" there is just nothingness, pure energy "in" me, there never was a reason to doubt ... this is it, no more, no less
Ridicilously simple, amazingly Nothing :D

In my "life situation" things will be not only just fine, but perfectly ok, o why ever "worry", I just said you were dead lol

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:05 pm

When things just started to "change", it seemed there would have to be a "choice", but it is just "surrender" no choice.
Life already chose for "me", grateful without any effort, in That nothing remains, :arrow:




,









,

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:36 pm

I am a teacher. Don't "know" yet what I teach or tho whom, but I will teach it one day, this day further in love, so students can teach me. My situation will adapt to this, because it is. Now, let it come and rest, you are (in arms of) Love now, like always was and will be.

You there, you can no longer become that, you are not that and now, just continue dying in peace.

Thank you all for allowing the space here to write. Thank you, i bow deeply in gratitude, thank you
Now I have to go and turn my life around, no, wait lol it is turning around NOW and NOW and NOW and NOW

jingle all the way
3 years back to school, let's just let it happen, yes we'll see what happens now :D

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:25 pm

O My ...

this IS a dream huh


This being informed by presence, it sounds like music to the ears, it is beautiful, I have no doubt it's 'truth' 100%, still what in heaven's name is it waiting for? I need more information NOW and effortless lol


NOW I re-read "this" post from "who", from when, "yesterday"?
it DID happen, i did not even remember asking ... you guys already know that nearly all humbleness is filtered out here, but this makes even "me" feel small, almost quite lol ... "who" gave this "answer" ... thank You thank You thank You
"i" will, thank You

can not believe this, wake up out of this, somebody help (?) all this is not supposed to be "possible" really it is ridiculous. To much, to "clear", this is a dream, impossible that this is life, it is too perfect, stop it, get me out of here
Ow, but be careful what you wish for indeed, even if it's a joke, it's all a joke, so be careful dead guy

now explain this you insane dead guy, you won't you coward, yes, that's better run for your life stupid, no I won't harm you, it is just judgement day now, just die, and take your so-called "intelligence" with you and your "specialness" too NOW this time NOW mother*¨%322("é( smartass bi$^é' lol bye

aaaaahr rrrrrrrrr Looooove ....

This temple of love is in me of course, but this came passing by too, this place looks so beautiful, I don't think it is a question if this body will travel there, let's see when I really get called there or not, Stillness is everywhere, just a nice environment to blossom it, why not
https://www.radhadesh.com/en/visit-us/retreat-centre/

I was relieved to understand that some "see" in silence, some more in "talking" like a bird lol, but it does not mean I haven't started to seek more and more Stillness too. Accept now it is not a puzzle :) Thank you

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:42 pm

"Wrong"

Revenge of the mind, all this future thinking. It's ok to have a future life situation, but now there has been a goal created, by the mind ...

struggling hard

it has been causing a shift, in the other way

yesterday I felt like the "extra" awareness I "gained" so apparently quickly was "pushed back" by some force, almost instantly I "lost" it

since then there is this flow that seems to have gotten "outside" again :?: :|

i feel lost, I guess I have to go through this too

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:53 pm

it feels like there is back a shield between the mind and this other "zone" and I don't remember wich "tools" I had, during this short bright time I seem to have been gone through

it came effortlessly, so the only way to "get" it back is by stop trying, but now that has become this "thing" to do

and it all seemed so easy, so it should still be "easy"
like "is"
easy

maybe I need this tiny sparkle again to come by
maybe I was not ready after all

nothing I can do, that I remember

birds trees and clouds wind rain they call
I should listen
ok

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turiya
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by turiya » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:06 am

SpaBlauw33 wrote:yesterday I felt like the "extra" awareness I "gained" so apparently quickly was "pushed back" by some force, almost instantly I "lost" it
Yes, it only seems that the "person" is "gaining" awareness... But what is really happening is that your belief in the thoughts of who you are (...the sense of separate "person") is diminishing. :D

(The believed thought that "I am a very spiritual person who has more awareness than others" = Spiritual Ego)

Regarding the "push back":

Mind can only push back against Mind.

There is an Awareness of Mind pushing back against Mind... and this Awareness cannot (ever) be pushed back... or "lost". (It can only be temporarily "overlooked" when attention is absorbed in the drama of Mind pushing back against Mind). :wink:
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by turiya » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:33 am

SpaBlauw33 wrote:it came effortlessly, so the only way to "get" it back is by stop trying, but now that has become this "thing" to do
Yes... there's nothing the person can do to get it back, because the person never "got it" and "had it" to begin with.

There is an Awareness of the thought stream, "Oh no, it's gone. How do I get it back?... Oh yes, I need to stop trying and then I'll get it back.... I need to try very hard to not try now!............ Oh @#$%! Why isn't this working for me??"

Don't get sucked into the thought stream.

Notice the Awareness that is always there no matter what thoughts, feelings, physical sensations are arising.

:wink:
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

SpaBlauw33
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:31 am

Thank you so much turiya for your kind gifts of understanding and encouragement.
There is so much relief
in this never ending story everybody here "warned" me for
the ears here are not functioning
me me me :roll:

There is nothing to say. All this information you guys give, like 100%+100%+100% "warning signs" in it, everything in it this beginner could have never asked for but what happens me me me me ME gosh ... We were talking about shame at some earlier point.
Should I just express the gratitude


These words, these cries ... why really these circles that wisdom from higer levels far for "comprehended"
there exists no time to feel sorrow nor guilt
Does that mean there should be no apology

is was never gone, persons like millions of them
yes all who who who but not in a million times

came back "on" just like that and that
this is bull'(ç"!" to say it like this, just utter more
these words are ALL lies
turiya thank you so much
yours are so much clearer and brighten up the whole Sun

in being there were so many gifts again
how could (here comes the word and again)??

like "sorry that word doubted You"
some kind of catholic "guilt"
still, the arrogance and im-patience

This "future" is ok in the "now"

Are these extreme "peaks" of going on and off like heaven and hell "normal"?
They are not real, ok nothing more to say, but are they "normal" aaargh :) the question sees through itself, nevermind

Yes is the answer to everything and no is the answer to everything
do you understand now boy that you should not talk and why

It has been such a fantastic "confirming" afternoon. All lies, but they were told in magical im-possible thruths again! Counterweight x10 for all "doubt", even if it is part of the dream, it is part of is.

There "happened" so sooo sooooooo much in such a small "time" and always this silly ignorance in between ...
why doubt, what is needed more to surrender to???

This Power, really there should not even be writing about it, not by this little tiny piece of not-knowing, how it is arranging all this whaaaaaat? how? we are NOT here to understand leave it and "Be"!

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turiya
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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by turiya » Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:02 am

:D
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:52 am

turiya wrote: :D
Yeeeeeessss! (like that character from little britain) :wink:
I would - at least - even add "phew" to that :D
Sighclone wrote: Some of your old destructive habits may be worth bringing into Presence. Say you had a gambling habit, and you feel an urge to go to the casino. Stop for a moment and just be with that urge totally. Allowing the "old stuff" to sit in the crucible of Presence has a way of de-energizing it and its influence. And Byron Katie's "the work" is a useful cognitive tool for examining some fixations. (http://thework.com/en)

Be well and very accepting of whoever you perceive that "you are" -- because now you know that who you really are is huge, powerful, and loving.

Andy
Thank you again dear Andy :)
Since 30+ years I have smoked cigarettes for every single day. Even in periods I could barely breathe normal without it hurting - during disease - I would STILL keep on smoking like really ... sick ... Apart from this advice from you, someone else that has come back in to my life "magically", said, "If you want to, stop, then you stop, huh..."
Heard this so many times, but now, was different ...

Without "thinking" about it, I have not smoked a single cigarette for the last 4 days now !!! Today I lit one (yes I keep carrying them everywhere lol for some strange "reason" lol) ... After the first inhale, I threw that dirtyness away. For the other moments I would normally smoke, there is sooooo much other, no not other, Just Awareness and it is GONE. No more addiction, no more depression, no more "stuck in my job" no more "failed" no more bla bla bla ... Really, effortlessly, like you said, Self-awareness does not smoke, you know. What would seemed impossible, it jst happens now. Now, while writing, other stuff that happened is really huuge too, alone this addiction makes it almost like a "scientific" PROOF, no way around, even not for the ego, what can he find to explain this.

Wonderful. It is crazy. It really is nuts. There has been more magic in my life since Eeckie helped to make the alarm go off here, then I could have ever made up in mind. Where is this naked person without name? What is left. From this newbie? At some times a nowbie. Some times ;)

It also came by Dzogchen & the rainbow body today. That's new. (& Wow!)
Curious to see what will happen in dream state tonight. Clearly, there too energies are behaving differently, to say the least, from long before I had any "knowledge" let alone "belief" from any of tis stuff. In my story, all spirituality, it was all like the same, I laughed with it, could not take it seriously ...

Look at this now.

There is no more hope to go "there" with the intellect. Hell, what a ride here, whaaat a craaazy ride. I will go back to college, that is also a HUGE "change" in this story, oooh it's just another story, yes, that is such a difficult exercise, but there should be less and less of this "person" writing, he's just completely at the back(ground), otherwise this all would not have a chance, not 1/100000000000 chance, to get so much terrific things going on now in this life, all together at "once", with this fundamental re-found fearless state of mind. Most of the time, these magic things are very small and little but huge. Like, just a sound. Just a colour. Just the feeling of cold hands ("me" hates this!), surfaces to touch, lights going on, people and their stories, CONNECTING with people, like "me" never did before If there would be just a story, it would make me cry tears of joy now :D but that happened to much already lately
---
"deep" energies that were pushed away, they are back (nòt always pleasant rrrrrrrrrrr), veeeeerrrrry very cautious .... they respect Nature's timing perfectly, it seems this self is protected from "too much" at once, if all this "bad" energy should release instantly, oooh the body would not survive ...

Life is such a "relief" now, intensely beautiful in every single aspect

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