Having difficulty living in the present

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jimjan
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by jimjan » Thu Apr 05, 2018 6:22 am

Here is the link to the two months of scribd for free. There are quite a few Tolle books and an awesome recording from a retreat. I will admit, I get a free month if you sign up this way. Win-win.

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by Newman » Thu Apr 05, 2018 10:18 pm

Hi in the broader sense of the term living in the present, how do tolle followers put behind them a childhood of bullying? I feel like I still hold hate about the past and saying put the past behind you is easier said than done.

Thanks in advance.

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by Webwanderer » Thu Apr 05, 2018 10:52 pm

Newman wrote:
Thu Apr 05, 2018 10:18 pm
...how do tolle followers put behind them a childhood of bullying? I feel like I still hold hate about the past and saying put the past behind you is easier said than done.
I suggest being pragmatic about it. If you still hold hate, you still hold judgment. Consider forgiveness. Forgive those who have done you harm for pragmatic reasons. The benefit of forgiveness is not so much for the forgiven, but for you the forgiver. It is you who are relieved of the burden of hate through forgiveness. Are you justified in hating someone who did you harm? Maybe, but so what if that judgment you hold is harming you in an ongoing basis.

We are most often our own worst enemy in that those who do us harm move on, yet we hold on to the memory of our own accord creating a condition of endless pain. Choose another path. Recognize that we are all extensions of the same Source Consciousness exploring challenging life experiences in human form. We harm others. Others harm us. Especially early in life when we are more vulnerable to conditioning. One of those challenges that provides great benefit is to live in appreciation of the present while building on the events of the past.

Forgiveness is the doorway to freedom from our own self-induced pain.

WW

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by kiki » Thu Apr 05, 2018 11:27 pm

Hi in the broader sense of the term living in the present, how do tolle followers put behind them a childhood of bullying?
By starting with this moment; where else can you start? Life is always about this moment because that's where life is actually lived. Being consciously present dissolves thoughts of the past and fears of the future.
I feel like I still hold hate about the past

"Holding hate" is a function of thought that compels you to "hang on" to it. In other words, hanging on takes effort, which by now has been so conditioned into you that you don't even realize you are efforting to keep it active. This may even be an egoic tactic to remain in control of your life.
and saying put the past behind you is easier said than done.
That's true at the level of the mind. You can't force yourself to put the past behind you that will have a lasting effect . It's not simply a decision one makes because thoughts about it will inevitably return that will trigger conditioned reactions to it. But you can become more and more proficient at remaining present, which means you are no longer "hanging on" to anything. That's where letting go happens naturally - letting go is a natural function of being present. At some point you will notice thoughts of the past and stored hatred will begin to whither away, and lose its power to upset you when you think those old thoughts. The memories will remain, but the conditioned reaction gradually dissolves, and with it the hatred.
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Newman
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by Newman » Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:09 am

When I think about the people who bullied me as children I kinda forgive them and I don't hold hatred towards them. The thing is though I am living in the present with problems such as low self esteem or social skills issue as a result of past issues. These ARE present circumstances.

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by Sighclone » Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:43 pm

Relatively conventional self-help books and videos can help here. Even after awakening, there are psychological challenges in our personalities, mainly a result of deep conditioning. I like the work of Brene Brown in this general topic of self-worth.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by MissNikki » Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:16 am

Best to keep seeing your therapist as well. I can speak to that as I was in different forms of counseling/therapy and saw a psychiatrist for probably more than half my life and it did do a lot of good. :wink:
Posted by MissNikki.

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AliArtist1963
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by AliArtist1963 » Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:12 am

I'm so glad I found this forum.
I am grateful to those who facilitated its existence ❗️
This very subject of 'having difficulty living in the presence' has been on my mind frequently as of late.
If I had to identify the difficulty, it would be a sad homesick feeling, with a sense of detachment from my life, my surroundings, my responsibilities, and even from the person (me) who is observing this happening.
I have had this unique homesick feeling off and on throughout life (I'm 54). A few years ago - after a blow out with my mother - I was on my bed uncontrollably crying and began to whisper "I just want to go home" again and again. I became aware of this (Eckhart teaches us about the observer in us) and stopped crying. I then rationally thought "Wait, I AM home. I'm in my house, in my bedroom...I certainly do not want to go back home where I grew up...what does this mean?" I then realized it meant the true home I came from, and will go back to. Ouch.
Seems to get stronger as I age. I feel sometimes my time here is 'wrapping up'. Resolving unresolved stuff has been a priority. I used to be frightened enough to have earned a PhD in avoidance. Lately I have approached resolving without paralyzing fear. The powerful emotions I have (guilt, anger, regret, sad) slip away when resolution is felt. Immediately, those emotions change to joy, graditude, sadness, and awe in the lesson seen. And I just realized - awe at the human being (me) I see now.
Is this awakening behavior? The key word homesick has been impossible to find, when relating it to spiritual awakening and enlightenment ❗️
"...that awkward moment between birth and death "

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by Webwanderer » Sun Apr 15, 2018 4:11 pm

AliArtist1963 wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:12 am
Is this awakening behavior?
What does it feel like? Is awakening not a freeing from what troubles us into a life view of appreciation? You know.

WW

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by kiki » Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:33 pm

Welcome to the forum, AllArtist1963.

kiki
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by AliArtist1963 » Sun Apr 15, 2018 7:53 pm

Thanks kiki, much appreciated
"...that awkward moment between birth and death "

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MissNikki
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by MissNikki » Sun Apr 15, 2018 8:28 pm

AliArtist1963 wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:12 am
I'm so glad I found this forum.
I am grateful to those who facilitated its existence ❗️
This very subject of 'having difficulty living in the presence' has been on my mind frequently as of late.
If I had to identify the difficulty, it would be a sad homesick feeling, with a sense of detachment from my life, my surroundings, my responsibilities, and even from the person (me) who is observing this happening.
I have had this unique homesick feeling off and on throughout life (I'm 54). A few years ago - after a blow out with my mother - I was on my bed uncontrollably crying and began to whisper "I just want to go home" again and again. I became aware of this (Eckhart teaches us about the observer in us) and stopped crying. I then rationally thought "Wait, I AM home. I'm in my house, in my bedroom...I certainly do not want to go back home where I grew up...what does this mean?" I then realized it meant the true home I came from, and will go back to. Ouch.
Seems to get stronger as I age. I feel sometimes my time here is 'wrapping up'. Resolving unresolved stuff has been a priority. I used to be frightened enough to have earned a PhD in avoidance. Lately I have approached resolving without paralyzing fear. The powerful emotions I have (guilt, anger, regret, sad) slip away when resolution is felt. Immediately, those emotions change to joy, graditude, sadness, and awe in the lesson seen. And I just realized - awe at the human being (me) I see now.
Is this awakening behavior? The key word homesick has been impossible to find, when relating it to spiritual awakening and enlightenment ❗️
That is so great Ali :) I would say that sounds like an awakening moment. Be present, in the here and now. Enjoy feeling the joy and awe in the lessons you learn. Thank you for sharing with us.

(PS. Have you ever heard of Starseeds? Your description of wanting to 'go home' is very similar to those who have lived past lives very far from home, as in not on this planet but in another world. Something I have been researching lately, and you may find interesting if you do a search on Google.)
Posted by MissNikki.

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AliArtist1963
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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by AliArtist1963 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:45 am

I read about Starseeds. I can't say that I resonate strongly with the characteristics, but then a few of them hit home. I do see 11:11 displayed on a clock often. I do feel out of place, homesick, emapthic, attention deficit, prefer animals to people in general (execpt husband!), retired from nursing, took up mosaic art later in life, due to a museum exhibit on ancient mosaics of Jeruselum I visited. I stood staring at one - knowing I knew how to do that, I've done it before, I was an expert mosaicists and that I needed to do it again.
If I happen to be one, I am one of the "high state of amnesia" type.
I really appreciate you guiding me to learn about them. As much research as I have done, this is the first time I have heard of them ! Thank You.
"...that awkward moment between birth and death "

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Re: Having difficulty living in the present

Post by turiya » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:54 am

AliArtist1963 wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:12 am
I then rationally thought "Wait, I AM home. I'm in my house, in my bedroom...I certainly do not want to go back home where I grew up...what does this mean?" I then realized it meant the true home I came from, and will go back to.
Hi AliArtist,

Here is a video by Mooji I think you might like:

https://youtu.be/MvB2NqKPBxw

:D
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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