Help me to understand my self identification interpretation

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Help me to understand my self identification interpretation

Post by tchest77 » Tue Nov 26, 2019 4:20 pm

I have been learning and open to this false made sense of self through understanding reactivity. If possible, any guidance towards an understanding of my interpretation is appreciated, if I am way off track, thinking to much, or looking like I am onto personal growth; I am open to any criticism.

So, my boss says to me that I didn't get my expected work in on time. She made me feel like I wasn't competent, although she had no negative demeanor or tone of voice, I immediately felt like I was not that good of an employee. The next day, I thought more about it and was like, I am reacting to this in order to support myself, I could see this. Perhaps I just based who I am, or what I am capable of, on someones reaction, or I felt that I am a good employee and felt that my interpreted "opinion/challenge" undermined my opinion of myself as an employee.

I realized that although she is right about me not competing my work, she was not implying that I wasn't competent, and even if she was implying that, this is her interpretation. Even if her interpretation is factual, my understanding of my competencies, while they may or may not be recognized, are understood by me, and through this allowing myself to accept that I am wrong for not getting work in on time doesn't constitute who I am or what I am or not capable of doing, it is just a reflection of something I could improve. Accepting criticism helps me to see that perhaps I have short comings, and to reflect on why and ways to improve if need be; or to not even consider if it is understood. I see that by not trying to understand then I am just protecting myself without giving myself the chance to see other possibilities or myself more clearly.

Regardless, her opinion, personal or professional, is a reflection of her life experience and knowledge and may or may not include her ego as well. Moving forward with allowing myself to be open to criticism, seeing if this can help improve myself or allow me to see criticism as an opportunity to improve professionally and personally. Allowing the growth of those around me by letting them be who they are, while also allowing me to not be responsible for their way all helps to see the bigger picture instead of getting lost in emotion, and be open to criticism without identifying to it regardless of their delivery.

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Re: Help me to understand my self identification interpretation

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Nov 26, 2019 5:14 pm

My reply here is going to be a bit different than the concerns you have illustrated. What you have stated is much about self reflection and your relationship to criticism and how to deal with it. I would like to suggest a little different approach to your job and employment that will tend to correct many of the problems that have arisen.

My suggestion is to go into business for your self. Say what? Yes, go into the business of helping the company you work for meet its goals and become better - more efficient. There is a different attitude in seeing yourself as just an employee compared to an being important and effective component of 'your' company. Go to work each day with the desire and intent to accomplish good things for your company. It's a completely different feeling and motivates in unique and enjoyable ways.

When I was hired by a company to do a specific job for them, I chose to adopt the company as my own. It was now my business and I was going to do everything I could to make it successful. I didn't see myself as having tasks to do so much as I had goals to make money for the company and make it as successful as I could through my own contributions. It was my company after all. No one needed to tell me I needed to work harder, I was committed for my own personal interests.

Now this had as much to do with my own experience as I didn't just go to work in the morning, I went to join in an effort to make good things happen and grow the company. How I felt about going to work was considerably better than if I was just going to do my job to earn a paycheck. My resistance to tasks changed into focused creativity.

I looked constantly for ways to improve my productivity. Little things, larger things, anything to make 'my' company better. This wasn't something I wore on my sleeve to boast about to others. It wasn't about them or showing off. It was simply an internal perspective and approach that made my work better, my company better, and myself better. Win, win, win. It created an internal atmosphere where I looked forward to going to work. It was my company I was growing - and more than anything, my internal company.


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Re: Help me to understand my self identification interpretation

Post by DavidB » Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:22 pm

Personal growth is a wonderful thing, especially when you can take negative criticism and turn it into a positive. Nobody really enjoys hearing the truth about ourselves, having our weaknesses and failures exposed, but it is just this exposure that can created the greatest growth, if we are mature enough to recognize it and use it to our advantage.

I personally believe that life is primarily a spiritual journey and everything else being secondary. Spiritual evolution is our primary focus while everything else is peripheral. Being is conscious doing, as Eckhart has said. So if we are present in our work, we are fulfilling our primary purpose, our work benefits from our focus and we benefit from the peace that comes from being present.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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