Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

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Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby Jlama » Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:48 am

Hi all

I'm new to the forum here. I've recenly read TPON and A New Earth and both resonated with me in a big way. Like a lot of people I feel I've been searching for something and I am 'aware' that if I can become present as much as possible many of the issues that I struggle with will fall away. HOWEVER, something I'm really still struggling with is an (embarassing) obsession with my appearance. I'm a 30 year old male and had a rhinoplasty some years ago because I had a prominent nose that I felt was too large for my face (most people wouldn't have disagreed!). However, I have never been that happy with the outcome - I frequently 'don't recognise myself' when I see myself in the mirror and I feel that the surgeon definitely removed too much of my nose in certain places - blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I know that I am supposed to accept myself and acknowledge my deeper 'self' but I am really struggling to do so. A large part of me wants to have another cosmetic procedure to resolve what I see as an unsatisfactory result - and a lot of the time I truly believe that if it turns out right I would be very happy!! But another part of me is exhausted with looking at myself in the mirror and obsessing - I know it's such a waste of my life and I am embarassed at my vanity and so very bored of it. Plus the fact another procedure may turn out worse. Has anyone got any suggestions as to how to diminish this crazy obsession with the external body? It's funny because I know I could be at peace if I just accepted myself (including accepting the fact I changed myself with the original surgery - very hard to do!) and practiced being aware to reduce my ego - but the pull of 'correcting' what I perceive as a problem is so strong!! I know I'm still VERY identified with my thoughts and DEEPLY UNCONSCIOUS a lot of the time - so maybe I just need to practice awareness a lot more? Maybe I'm not ready to fully awaken and need to suffer some more!? Any thoughts?
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby kiki » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:03 am

Welcome to the board, Jlama.

It's funny because I know I could be at peace if I just accepted myself (including accepting the fact I changed myself with the original surgery - very hard to do!) and practiced being aware to reduce my ego.


That's right. Examine this need to look "better". If you go through with this procedure what need/want/desire will replace the current one? It's inevitable that something will capture the attention of the ego, some other "need" will arise that must be met. Why not cut through the whole dynamic of this cycle by discovering the illusory nature of ego itself? You don't have to get rid of ego or reduce it (both of which are egoically driven) - just see it for what it is: a bundle of thoughts that are identified with. It comes and goes but it isn't you. Discover this for yourself and attachment to it will dissolve.

but the pull of 'correcting' what I perceive as a problem is so strong!! I know I'm still VERY identified with my thoughts and DEEPLY UNCONSCIOUS a lot of the time - so maybe I just need to practice awareness a lot more?

It's always good to remain present throughout the day no matter what's going on - you don't need any particular reason to "practice awareness" because you are awareness. The one who perceives it to be a "problem" is the sticking point. Find that one and see if he's real or not. If he isn't real what will happen to the problem?

Maybe I'm not ready to fully awaken and need to suffer some more!? Any thoughts?


Well, you can suffer some more if you want; that will make the ego quite happy, but it's not necessary. The ego will use any excuse it can find to keep itself spinning because its intent is to continue come hell or high water, and needing to "suffer more" is a grand strategy for doing just that. But there is no reason why you can't wake up right now.

My advice is to become familiar on a daily basis with what you are beyond the ego or mind. Let that be the primary focus, then see what happens. Perhaps you will decide to go ahead with it but without the angst you are feeling now. Perhaps not. You might be quite surprised when you accept things as they are now.

Once again, welcome to the board.

kiki
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby Sighclone » Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:07 am

Welcome Jlama! Pick up a copy of Byron Katie's "Loving What Is" and visit her site, thework.com. After you are familiar with her cognitive technique, try it on this assertion: "My nose looks bad." You've gotten way "stuck" on a small issue. Then create some other assertions to "work" on. Then have a life. You are bright and introspective - while those can be mixed blessings when the ego grabs them, I think you will do well.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby the key master » Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:04 pm

Hi Jlama,

Do you know, beyond any doubt, beyond mind, that you are eternal spirit, the Source of everything? If you've glimpsed your true nature, remember to view life from that level of consciousness, which is always Now. Don't view life from the limited perspective of mind-body. You are far more vast, more beautiful than mind could possibly fathom. Meditate on that. Realize what you are, always will be, and always have been. As you become more familiar with your true Self, egoic tendency to judge one's body will dissipate into nothingness.

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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby Jlama » Sat Sep 13, 2008 12:06 am

Thank you all for your kind words. They really mean a lot to me. I'm definitely still at a point where I become very quickly identified with my repetitive thoughts - and your comments help me to see beyond these negative thought processes. In fact I've decided that everytime I start to dwell on this issue, I will use it as an opportunity to really feel my inner self, even if it's just for a minute or so. We'll see if I can stick to it or just how strong my ego is!
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby lakeswimr » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:58 pm

Hi Jlama,

That's a very good idea! When we notice we are dwelling on things we can use that as a reminder. :) I do that, too with other similar issues.
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby BillyRobinson » Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:33 am

These have been great pointers.

In addition what helps me not identify with my looks is realizing the true authorship of them. "I" did not create my physical body. Do you even have any idea how to "make" a strand of hair, let alone a beating heart/whole body? Of course not, therefore it was made by God, exactly the way it needed to be. Why are virtually all bodies "imperfect" to the ego in varying degrees? To facilitate the awakening of one's consciousness of course.

Don't take ownership of your body as if it was made by you, because it wasnt. YOU are formless & eternal presence/spirit. Know that self & know God.
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby exthruna » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:35 pm

How long should get even by benefit cosmetics last for? I recently got get even by benefit cosmetics and i wanted to know how long it should last for so i know i am not using too much?
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby azuritewellness » Wed Jun 15, 2016 9:47 am

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this forum and this one is looking a great discussion. I'm feeling proud to join in this group.
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby Sighclone » Wed Jun 15, 2016 6:38 pm

Welcome az! There are a number of members from Australia!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Obsession with external appearance/cosmetic surgery!

Postby azuritewellness » Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:20 am

Dear - You can use cosmetic surgery for your nose problem , In present time Latest technique is available for cosmetics surgery or you can get a smart shape to your body also. Bust of Luck...
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