Fear of Awareness

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treetop333
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Fear of Awareness

Post by treetop333 » Fri Oct 10, 2008 10:33 pm

My query is; you know when you first realize that you are separate from every one else, unique, the only one in the entire world, universe that is attached to this body, observing the thoughts and surroundings, no one else. For me it is the sudden realization of being completely alone in this universe and absolutely frightening when I actually fully realize this. It turns into a full out blown panic attack. I'm not talking about "I am I" but as an observer, another entity that is separate from the body and mind and everything around. It's as if I’m the only one experiencing this in the entire universe and everyone else is going threw life on remote control. Thank God this does not happen often anymore and only lasts for a few seconds, these occurrences started when I was aprox 8 years old. So my question is, is this something you have seen or experienced with other people or yourself? Is this something I need to go threw and allow to happen? In other words what am I in for?

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Sighclone
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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by Sighclone » Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:28 am

Sounds pretty scary to me. Especially since it's so profoundly false. No wonder you had a big reaction...the belief that everybody else is just some kind of big robot has got to be sad. Of course, it's just the big ego using fear tactics and BS again. Next time it comes up, get cognitive and use Byron Katie's "thework" technique: 1) Is it true? 2) Can I be absolutely sure it is true? 3) How do I react when I believe this? 4) How would I feel if I never had that thought again? And the turnaround is "I am never ever for one milisecond alone at all, and I never have been."

Go to her website thework.com and get "Loving What Is".

That BS thought is way beneath you.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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moonmissy
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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by moonmissy » Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:56 pm

The deeper I journey into awareness often, the more fear I experience. This is not an experience to be afraid of....of course not unless you are identified with the ego.

It is somewhat a blessing in disguise, because for me I know that awareness and peace is just beyond that fearful feeling that surges if I just allow the moment to be.

It helps to ask "Who is this that is feeling the fear or dread?", "Where did it come from?" observation more than ever will help to give you an understanding of the nature of fear.

It is an ego's fear of death.....because it is so fragile and illusory!
When you identify with it....fear becomes you, death becomes you.
When you surrender to it and observe...you find your everlasting true self which transcends all things.
Don't take my word for it....experience it for yourself.
Before and after there exist not one
Why attachments?

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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by Sighclone » Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:13 am

One of Eckhart's primary messages, albeit not obvious sometimes, is that when you are the Witness, you are part of Being. When you are part of Being, you are not only no alone, but everyone is with you...they may not know it fully...but they are there. "Do thyself no harm, for we are all here" (Acts 16:28).

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by jugu » Sun Oct 19, 2008 11:09 am

treetop,

It's terrifying. When the "you" that you think you are finds out that it really has no permanent reality in the world, "you" are only naturally going to get a little freaked out. Think of all the things that make up your egoic self: all the nice things, all the bad things, all of what you have learnt to be yourself and the world around you, all of it is false-it has no permanent existence. You ask a really good question, that is "What am I really getting into?". The answer doesn't exist because you don't know, and you can't know what your getting into. It is completely unknown, for the only thing you know is that you exist. You are your the only truth, and you hang on to is not the truth. Hiding behind all the familiar happenings of your life, and behind all your adventures is you. You are the only constant, and you will never truly know yourself as you are. You can only be.

Your concern is fear, but ask yourself "what is the basis of this fear?" Find out what the fear is avoiding and what it wants. Fear is ego, its very simple. Ego is familiarity, control, limitation... ego is your false self. Your true self is not afraid. Find out what your afraid of, and dive right into it. Face your fear. It's the only way to rid yourself of ego.

richardjc
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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by richardjc » Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:25 pm

Hi Treetop

As far as I remember, Eckhart talks about there being a certain amount of fear as the ego's shell begins to crack. He talks about it feeling like a void and feeling very scared. After all, it is a death, I believe he says. Don't resist this fear. It is like the ego's last 'scream'.

The ego seems to intensify when you look at it. As if it swells up like a fugu fish saying 'don't even bother trying to get rid of me, I'm HUGE and can make you REALLY SCARED'. But like a fugu fish, it is full of air.

Peace can feel odd to some of us who have been so caught up in ego's negativity. Likewise the witness can feel like an odd 'place' to the mind. The mind can sense it means the death of an old mental-emotional pattern, and reacts in the only way it knows how - with fear.


Take care

Richard

treetop333
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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by treetop333 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 8:11 pm

I apologize for not not responding sooner and would like to thank everyone's responses. All of them were very helpful in helping me realize that I am experiencing that journey now and the fears will be faced as they come. Note as I'm saying this, I am smiling inside and the fears are having less of a hold on me and being more open to experiencing " What am I in for"

Thanks everyone
Will

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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by Sighclone » Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:09 pm

You are fine, Will. Of course living in a city where "old people go to live with their grandparents" can be confining! (Kidding, of course...living in Spokane, we get to Victoria fairly often.)

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Fear of Awareness

Post by Juno » Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:34 am

What I am is consciousness/presence/ truth/ultimate reality and What I am is Everything form and not form. So what I am is also fear. It is consciousness experiencing itself as fear. Once we can sense that which is in us, in Everything, including fear, fear takes a step back in my experience. What worked for me is sensing stillness and allowing things to be. Then like a light switch turned on I knew What I am is What everything is. Everything profain and profound is What I am. We just put labels on everything adding to the illusion of seperation.
by thinking of something you create an entity and by thinking of nothing you create another. Let such erroneous thinking perish utterly, and then nothing will remain for you to go seeking!
Huang Po

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