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Greetings good peopke :-)

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2020 5:22 pm
by Ryan V
Greetings good people,
:)

I’d just like to explain what’s happened to me and, hopefully, somebody may be able to help me with some sort of advice or insight.

10 years ago, at the age of 25, I read ‘the Power of Now’ and ‘a New Earth’ and definitely had some sort of awakening. ‘The Power of Now’ chapter ‘Portals in to the Un-manifested’ released me deeply in to the now, it seemed all problems went away and I was washed with elation! Wow! What a feeling!

I was trying to convince friends and family to read it around this time, as I wanted them to experience this amazing feeling, but I never managed to get anyone to follow. I got involved in making music (likely I found an ego identity and purpose through this) and somehow I lost my desire, getting wrapped up in life (slipping back in to time) Not to say my life has been bad, it’s been good, just not entirely present.


Now at 35, my life situation has changed considerably. I now work harder, have a mortgage and a lovely daughter with my best friend/partner of 10 years. Perhaps, with the slight turning up of the responsibility this has convinced me to take up the spiritual path again. When I began reading again, I couldn’t believe I ever stopped. Just recently, I’ve started to increase the reading and began meditating twice daily.

Then last week, after more reading and more meditation, I felt it again, the feeling in which all problems seems to go away and the mind is free from useless thought, I became present. This time I had it for a couple of days but it was more manageable almost like I may be able to live my life this way from now on. I looked at flowers and tree’s differently, playing toys with my daughter was amazing, I felt so good! So relieved!. I then began to think about all the things I could achieve and the confidence I can have if I just stayed alert and present. All the people I could help in my life. Perhaps, due to me having these aspirations....I started to feel completely un-present again.


I guess what I’m doing is projecting the now in to something it’s not (in the non-existing future) and am therefore losing it! Is there anyone else that has done this? Is this common?

After this came a period of intense disappointment, I was definitely back in time again. Thinking about the past and concerned about the future. It slipped without me even noticing....

Perhaps this is a long journey of discovery, of trying and failing to stay present until one day it sticks for good? ....is this even the purpose at all?

If somebody could please share a similar experience or some advice on this, I’d be very grateful. I’m sure there are many stories.


Many thanks,
Ryan :)

Re: Greetings good peopke :-)

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 11:36 pm
by kiki
Ryan, today I have been checking out some of the 'No response' posts, something I don't usually do, but I came across your post from last July. I am sorry it didn't get any attention from others then, but would like to give it my attention now.
I guess what I’m doing is projecting the now in to something it’s not (in the non-existing future) and am therefore losing it! Is there anyone else that has done this? Is this common?
Yes, this is pretty common.
After this came a period of intense disappointment, I was definitely back in time again. Thinking about the past and concerned about the future. It slipped without me even noticing....
Indeed, that's also pretty common. We are so easily entangled in thinking that we hardly notice when it happens. The tip-off, of course, is when we find ourselves feeding on some sort of anxiety again about the future or regret about the past or even pleasant memories of long ago. We mentally take a trip on a train of thought and get lost among the territory that train takes us through and we forget to get off. Catching yourself while climbing aboard and understanding what just happened is key to departure from it. It takes some time to sharpen our attention enough to where we can do that. Board the train when relevant circumstances dictate to us that it's necessary and then step back off the passenger car when thoughts are no longer required and watch the thought train pass by your awareness.

In essence, this is the general way of things for most people who are waking up. Maybe you've seen that for yourself more clearly in the time since you made this post. Waking up a usually series of breakthroughs into unobstructed clarity of awareness and then retreats back into mind-stream due to conditioning. Learning to be present builds on itself if you keep at it. Frequent returns to presence will lead to shorter trips on the thought train, and as those trips reduce in number the gaps between thoughts begin to grow.

At some point the realization will arise that what you actually are is beyond thought altogether, that your essence lies in those gaps. So each time we catch ourself on trips that aren't necessary becomes an invitation to step off the train and back into the truth of your true nature. Don't get down on yourself for getting caught up in thinking (that would just be another side trip that takes you deeper into thought), especially when you have responsibilities that others depend on. Just think of each trip as an opportunity to relax back into the truth of your true nature and the fundamental freedom that is always present. That moment when you realize you are caught is a moment of clarity, however brief it may be.

A simple reminder to put some attention on the breath multiple times throughout the day will help divert attention away from mind activity enough to weaken the conditioning that we've gone through for most of our life. We are so used to being fixated on thought/mind that we begin to identify with what's going on in our head and believe that it's 'me'. It's that identification than must be seen through, and then recognizing the underlying consciousness.
Perhaps this is a long journey of discovery, of trying and failing to stay present until one day it sticks for good? ....is this even the purpose at all?
For some it's a longer journey than for others. There's no telling who will go through what. But, understand this: It's not that it 'sticks for good' - the realization is that presence/peacefullness/silence/stillness IS what you are. It's this realization that is the saving grace. Being presence itself and realizing it means nothing truly sticks to you. Everything is realized to be a passing phenomena while you remain untouched.

Hope this helps.

kiki

Re: Greetings good peopke :-)

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 6:56 pm
by MyPlanBLife
Hi, I just posted a question about finding dates starting from 2008… Please don't post it, as I just found the link that says "new posts". So I'm good! And I'm really, really excited to join this community. Peace.

Re: Greetings good peopke :-)

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 8:33 pm
by kiki
That post won't show, MyPlanBLife. Glad you found us. There is a lot to explore here, and many fine topics and responses are from the earliest days of this community. In the upper right corner is a search function you may find useful. Also, if you click on a member's name it will take you to a page which will allow you to find all of the posts from that member.

Take some time, poke around and contribute when you feel moved to. I look forward to having you join in and pose questions or contribute answers.

kiki

Edited to add: Here is a link to Forum Rules: http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... um.php?f=9 I encourage you to take a look.