i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering
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i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by mikeun1992 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:59 pm

Hi, I would really really appreciate some advice on some issues so thanks for checking this out. I guess I just feel desperate, stuck, complete lack of motivation, and maybe could do with some other viewpoint or advice.

I'll try be as brief as I can. I'm 19 and had unhappy teenage years due to various reasons and which took me eventually to learn about ET and the Now. I've been practicing being in the Present Moment for about 7 months now, and had some good results.

My problem is, I've been unemployed for the last 3 months as I finished my apprenticeship, I've lost contact with all my friends now college is over, and I've never been very sociable, and so I really have had nothing to do, literally, for 3 months, with no sign of it changing. I have spent so much time in my room, just trying to be alert and present, but its began to feel like such an effort to be present, and I lack SO much motivation to really commit to it fully.

I'll just spew my mind here and get it off my chest.
The worst feeling is, I see myself constantly making the "choice" to suffer because I'm not committing to being present. I guess I don't see the point of being Present a little, I feel like it's total devotion or not at all. I just don't get why I'm addicted to being unhappy, a victim. I feel like I can't be free until things hit rock bottom. I'm so confused about how to even be present at the moment, how do you be relaxed yet alert? I can't get the balance right. Where do I get the motivation to start over and committ fully to being present totally, I know I could, if I tryed really hard and focused so much, but even that doesn't sound right. Maybe this post will do the trick.

I just feel like everything is crumbling, so much negative suffering momentum building these past few weeks and I can't muster the intense presence I know is needed. Has anyone felt like this? How do you get out of it?

I could ramble more but I've said enough. I thank you so much for reading and just some words of advice, if you like, would be so so appreciated. Thank you.

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Serenity 247
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Re: i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by Serenity 247 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:23 pm

It's great that you're awakening at a young age, but be gentle and kind with yourself as you embark on this journey. No need to pressure yourself to achieve "total devotion." That's not what it's about. You don't have to "do" anything. Presence is always there, no matter what else you're doing at the moment.

Also, Presence is not a magic pill to cure problems with your life situation. As the mother of boys your age, I recognize what you're going through as the education phase of your life ends, and the career phase has yet to begin. While you're in this state of limbo, there are things you can do to improve your life situation while you're practicing presence. In this world of form, our physical bodies have needs that must be met or our mental health will suffer. Get out of your room and into the world. Daily exercise, a new hobby, volunteer work, etc. can be helpful in maintaining a positive mental state as you continue your spiritual journey.
Peace, love and sandy feet.

Stella 7
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Re: i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by Stella 7 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:55 pm

I lack motivation, and all the things you talk about, and guess what I am a good deal older than you are!
There will be others on this forum , who are better able to offer guidance on all matter spiritual, but I would say to you, what I ought to say to myself:
Stop being too hard on yourself, don`t worry about what other people think,lots of people aren`t very sociable, and sometimes its the so called strongest characters who look as if they have all the confidence in the world... that inside feel as lost as you do now.
I would take a relaxed attitude to "being in the now", get out and just do one little thing a day, anything. Who knows what`s around the corner, maybe you will find a job you really enjoy ?
Just don`t be hard on yourself, there are more people who feel like you do than you may realise, in all walks of life.
Thanks for your post.

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Re: i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by arel » Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:22 pm

What if you were offered a job. You get to work with people similar to you, in the same situation, the location has pretty nice weather, it's close to nature, you get live in almost communal type of setting. There is yoga, exercises, healthy eating options, it's all minimalist but clean. It pays below average, but with reason, and you know the reason. You get to help people when they are confused or something is broken or doesn't work, or asking for help how to work something. They can be annoyed, angry, confused, silly, etc etc, but you have to maintain cool and be yourself. You'd have to intern first though, to train and for others to see if you 'fit in'. Would you want that?
What I say is only my viewpoint.

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Re: i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by benjayk » Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:55 pm

It is okay to be unmotivated and confused and also desperate. Ultimately there is nothing you as awareness can do about it, and nothing you have to do about it. Yes, the person can do something about it, but you (as awareness) can't really actively influence whether it does or not, since you are just witnessing it. This is not a good reason to not do something when there is a feeling that it would be good to do it, but is also not a good reason to feel guilty about it. Feeling guilty won't help you much, but if it happens it happens. Sometimes bad feelings actually help you to not just go with superficial "fun" happiness, but instead go into a place which is deeper and so much more fullfilling; so don't judge yourself for being addicted to unhappiness. It may have some good sides. It may be bad, but maybe sometimes it is better to be addicted to unhappiness than being addicted to happiness (the latter addiction is harder to cure)! See that there is something deeper than feelings.

You do not really choose to suffer. Rather, a choice to suffer is being made (which is not a good thing, to be sure, but you can't help it either). You can't help being present, there is nothing you can do to become present. You already are present (you are conscious that you are! - that's all there is to being present!), and as time goes by you realize that you are present. You can practice concentrating or sitting without being distracted, and this may result in a deeper realization of presence, but you can't make presence happen. It happens by itself (or rather by yourself?), by your own power to see that you are.
It may be more important to cease choosing to do what feels bad than trying to be present.

If everything is crumbling, that is not necessarily a bad thing. I experienced that a lot too, and yes, it can hurt a lot, be very frightening, confusing and annoying. But what you really are can't crumble, and often a crumbling of your self-identity and maybe, to some extent, your life, will actually help you to see deeper than identity and circumstance. You don't have to muster presence, it is already subtly there, even though you may not realize that it is.
Actually, usually attempts to muster presence fail if you are suffering. I never really managed to muster it. When it comes, it just does because I let go of my self-image. Take it as a chance to see there is nothing to muster. You realize yourself all by youself. Just like "Aha!". If it doesn't seem to happen, there is still a small "aha" there, it just is veiled by thinking you are merely a person, and thus feeling yourself to be seperate (which is not very true and thus doesn't make you feel present).
You are I am! You can't avoid that, and you can't avoid realizing it. Just some delusion of being a limited individual postpones your realization. That is OK, it takes as long as it does. As much as you feel having power to do something, use it to cease hanging on to ideas, feeling, self-images or superficial desires and instead do something which gives you relief or fun or seems valuable to you (you don't have to meditate at all, do whatever feels OK). If you don't feel having any power, this is not really bad, it may just mean you don't buy into the illusion of ultimate control anymore. In this case, relax, it happens as it happens, as you realize what you realize.
It seems you are putting a bit too much pressure on yourself and try too hard. Maybe you are searching for something impossible. You can't be fully present in any ultimate way. There is no limit to being present, and so it is never total, or a goal that can be completely fullfilled. There is no technique or trick to do it, since awareness is already self-organizing to see itself as cleary as it can. You will never be perfectly present (no one ever is!), so maybe begin with the fact that you are present at all!
How-tos work good for specific concrete purposes, but not for being present. It is a bit like a how to beat you heart and how to digest. It happens by itself, naturally. Of course there are things that are good for your heart and your digestion, but nevertheless it happens by itself (and you have no ultimate way of knowing what is best for your heart and your digestion, or what's best for being present).

I wish you the very best!


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Re: i feel like ive "lost it?" no motivation, confused

Post by magicbutterfly » Fri Nov 25, 2011 8:44 am

benjayk wrote:It is okay to be unmotivated and confused and also desperate.
I agree, you need to accept what is because it is. ET says:
There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen. If you cling and resist at at that point, it means you are refusing to go with the flow of life, and you will suffer. - page 152 POE
Also, I like this quote by Tao Te Ching:
Can you remain unmoving until the right action happens by itself?
"As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease." Ekhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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